


Americanos are Patriotic, Right?

by haikant



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, One Shot, Sassy Darcy Lewis, barely there sam/steve, mild Janetasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 16:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4311558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikant/pseuds/haikant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coffee shops are the incubators of snarky humans. Specifically, Darcy. And Loki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Americanos are Patriotic, Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Written on the Fourth of July. For the Fourth of July.

“Triple Americano for…duh? Dharma?” Sam’s confident shout faded into a question.

Darcy rolled her eyes, then glared at the cashier.

He avoided her glance by smiling benignly at the next customer.

Darcy had spent all summer carefully cultivating mutually beneficial ties with every employee at Natasha’s. They knew she came in between 3 and 4 in the afternoon and ordered the same drink: a triple Americano, to which she added a splash of milk and a spoonful of honey. It didn’t matter if it was 90 degrees and climbing, she needed her caffiene fix. She needed it hot, and she needed it now.  
Over Memorial Day weekend, she caught the staff exchanging looks of disbelief at her choice of beverage.

“What?!” she’d asked, incredulous. “Coffee should always be hot. It’s the rest of you frappe-heads that are weird.”

They’d stopped silently judging her after that, and renamed her from “Crazy Hot Americano Lady” to “Sass Queen.” It was easier to say.

Then Phil quit, and Nat had to hire someone.

Loki.

Rumor was that he used to work at the Starbucks across town, told off his manager, and left in a fit of rage. Rumor also had it that he invented the Mocha-Mint-Frappa-chip-o.

No one knew the real story.

On his first day at Natasha’s, he’d asked every customer’s name. By the third, he’d memorized the regulars by sight and order, and had their cups waiting with names written in flawless Sharpie cursive.

Well, all the regulars but Darcy.

“Dharma?” Sam called again, wincing when he finally caught sight of her.

“It’s. Darcy,” she hissed as she took the paper cup, leaving without adding anything to her drink.

…

“Ooh, you should stop messing with her, man,” Sam said, well after Darcy left. “The Sass Queen tips well. Nat likes her. And if you piss Nat off, you’d best find a new profession. In a new town. On a new planet.”

“Relax, Sam. It’s harmless,” Loki replied with a chuckle.

“You’re not the one staring her down, waiting to he tased,” Sam shuddered.

“If you’re so worried, then tomorrow I’ll make the coffee, and you can take the money.”

“Done.”

…

“Jane. I need a new coffee place. This one is awful,” Darcy proclaimed as she waltzed into the lab.

“Did they try to give you something cold again?” Jane asked, not looking up from her computer.

“Eh, not quite. The new guy keeps getting my name wrong. It’s purposeful. I’m convinced.”

“Give him time to adjust. He’s probably just nervous.”

“Uh, nope,” Darcy said, starting to pace. Her gaze focused on the trash can. “No. See? You got coffee from there earlier. Look! It clearly says, ‘Jane the Scientist.’ And it has a freaking telescope on it!”  
She threw the cup back in the trash with a huff.

“You know, you could just start making your own. I think there’s an espresso machine around…here…” Jane waved a hand above her head, then resumed her furious typing.

“Research, I can do. Space stuff? No big deal. But the only coffee I can make is the instant kind, and that shit is awful,” Darcy said, then took a sip of her Americano. She made a face, “Ugh, I forgot to fix it. Do we have any honey?”

…

“Dierdre?”

Darcy snatched the Americano from Loki and sauntered out.

…

“Darla?”

…

“Daphne?”

…

“Debra?”

…

“Diane?”

…

“Dolly?”

…

“Doris?”

…

“Jane, I need a favor.”

“Darcy, I told you last week. Using research funds to get stars named after us would be a breach of ethics.”

“Not that favor. I, uh, I need you to talk to Nat.”

Jane stopped writing, set her pen down, and closed her notebook. She cleared her throat, “Why?”

“I need her to fire Loki. Or at least mess his schedule up enough so that he’s not working between the hours of 3 and 4.”

Jane sighed, “This’ll cost you…”

“…Okay, okay. You can borrow my gold belt.”

“Not good enough,” Jane shook her head and opened her notebook.

“You can borrow my pass to Crazy Stan’s Hot Spring and Go Karts for the week,” Darcy said, looking over her glasses at Jane.

“Two weeks, and it’s a deal,” Jane countered.

“Done,” said Darcy, and they shook on it.

…

“Hey Nat…

"I know you get distracted when I call you at work…hey…in. A. Minute. Hon,” Jane let out a giggle.

“Too soon, darl…” She laughed again.

“Well, not for me. It’s for Darcy…

"If I tell her the nicknames, I will never hear the end of it…No, the new guy. Loki…Don’t fire him…Just. You know. Scare him a little…

"I don’t think she wants a lawsuit…And I think it’s adorable that you have matching tasers…

"Aw, chickadee, you’re the best…bye…”

Jane looked up at Darcy and held her hand out expectantly.

“Use it well, oh benevolent boss.”

“I’m taking Nat on Saturday,” Jane said, blushing.

“I am not ashamed of profiting from your disgustingly adorable relationship.”

…

“I told you, Loki. I told you not to piss off Natasha. 'Harmless fun’ you said. Heh. Closing for the rest of the summer. I do not envy you the Fourth of July post-firework crowd. You’re gonna smell like strawberries for days,” Sam said as he untied his apron.

“Aren’t you working the Fourth, too?” Loki asked.

“Nope. Got a date.”

“Lucky bastard.”

…

_**BOOM! BOOM-BA-BOOM! FEEEW! POP!** _

“Strawberry-fizzle-chino, for Anthony! Uncle Sam’s Favorite, for Maria! And a Cherry-Bombs-Bursting-In-Air, for Nick!” Loki called out. The night was almost over. He wiped strawberry pulp from the back of his arm as the last three customers walked out the door to the jingle of bells.

“Hey. Logan.”

“Sorry. We’re closing. And it’s Loki,” he said, his back to the door.

“Puh-lease, Leif. You have time to make an Americano,” Darcy said.

“Oh. It’s you,” Loki glared and braced his arms against the counter.

“Have to have an Americano on America’s birthday. It’s like a requirement,” she retorted, leaning a hip on the dessert case. “Look, I’m not sorry I engineered your shitty work schedule. Call it, 'maximizing my connections.’ You need to learn to be nicer, Laszlo.”

“It’s. Loki.”

“Whatever, Larry,"Darcy said, and held up a ten dollar bill. "Triple Americano?”

Loki looked from the cash to Darcy’s face and back again.

“Truce?”

“Truce.”

“Triple Americano for…?”

“Darcy.”

“Darcy, then.”

Silence fell between the espresso grinder’s snarl and the hiss of steam.

Loki passed her a steaming paper cup, her real name artfully inscribed in black Sharpie on the side.

“So…Loki…”

Sam walked past the shop window then, his arm around a very tall, very blond man.

“Lucky bastard,” Loki muttered as he watched Sam laugh heartily, leaning into his date’s space.

“Hey,” Darcy said, snapping her fingers in front of his nose. “Want to go throw popcorn at obnoxiously happy people?”

Loki grinned impishly, “I’ve got to finish closing, then yes, let’s.”


End file.
